The iPhone is ruining my ability to sex message. My 5-year-old cousin just picked up my phone at my grandmas birthday party and read "I wanna stand you up and fuck you from behind" to my entire extended family bc of popped up on my screen
i just licked my manager on accident and i'm freaking out
I only made out with him because he cured my hiccups
there are teeth marks in the soap. why are there teeth marks in the soap.
We were just at different life stages. He wanted to get married and have kids, I wanted to take MDMA and fuck my roommate.
I WILL BE THE BEST FICTITIONAL HISTORICAL FIGURE FOR THE FEMENIST MOVEMENT THE WORLD HAS EVER SEEN
If I was 5 years younger and single...
She STILL wouldn't fuck you.
Seriously. Texted me 4 times and that didn't wake me up so he nicely called and left a voicemail saying he WOULD call me 8 times. So when he called back I answered.
is one penis in the hand worth one better nicer penis in the manscaped bush?
We could put on there: "Drink jager bombs and do stupid shit faster, with more energy!"
Totally thought something squeezed my boob. Then I remembered I was wearing a bra. Isn't weed great?
purchased gas station taquitos and condoms at 4 this morning. It has been magical..
Her mom came down to the basement and took shots with us. She's now passed out in a wheel barrow. This party got weird
we tried to make a drinking game out of 4 pokemon cards you found in a drawer.
How much have you had to drink?
Qhaghao Oslo?
That seems like quite a lot.
Randomize
