But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
Jon and Kate. Drink everytime we see tears. Drink twice if a child cries. Finish your bev if you cry.
There is something about drinking on a golf course and getting with younger women that just really makes me feel at home.
Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
Reason #3 women are better than men: texting and peeing simultaneously. Write THAT in the fucking snow.
Xanax and allergy medicine look a lot alike when you spill them on the floor. Just saying that I still have allergies but I'm unsure if I still have legs
She is sending me pics of her sex faces...which totally counts as sexting in my book
There was a reason God said "Let there be titties" on the Fifth Day.
They need to leave so I can start drinking shamefully.
Okay let's look at your past accomplishments you've done hungover... Sat great score, academic decathlon, state for track. I think you are solid to go out tonight
Because I know nothing is hotter than ocean themed dick pics on SnapChat...
Today is a spill-drugs-all-over-myself kind of day.
New drinking game, drink every time Rhianna says "Work" in her new song.
It threw me off a little. I had to take a moment and ask myself, "Is he really fingering me in his mom's kitchen while I eat a whopper?"
Dude. Don't do acid and go to Disney on ice. Hear my warnings. That snow monster will fuck your shit up.
Randomize
