You can tell alot about a person by their poo.. For example, he was a smoker.
maybe i'll see you again later :)
I'd rather shit a knife.
new excercise plan: walk a mile get a bj then walk a mile home
you were stumbling around in your attic looking for all your swim team medals because you wanted to "feel like a champion."
You know you're on day 1 of your period when the new mcdonalds commercial makes you cry
I'm still not walking right. We need some boundaries for "drink-or-dare"...
I recommend you throw your keys as far as you can in one direction, your phone as far as you can in the opposite direction, and hold on.
the mechanics of walkigng feel weird right now everyone lools like a demon
what does alcohol mean
Yea. It was an issue. Great time though. Apparently I went through the coat check, put my coat on and forgot I had it so I tried to go through again and just didn't understand why thy weren't helping me. Dave coat checked his pants.
id one day like to live in a world full of emotionless and wonderfully fullfilling sex...
I can't even be mad at customs in houstons airport anymore for missing my flight and having to stay overnight. Within an hour of meeting we did it at her place. Her last word being "glad I could show you real southern hospitality". I'm definitely coming back here someday
I don't want to just break his heart, I want to dip it in liquid nitrogen and then smash it until it's powder and snort the powder
I'm talking to a corgi on tinder..wtf has my life come to
You know you gave a quality blow job when you have to ice your neck and jaw the next day.
He has no idea he’s my boyfriend.
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