Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
awoke with 47 plastic lawn flamingos in my bed and on surrounding floor. explanation?
you said they were your minions of evil that protected you from ferrets.
my dad just beat the shit out of me cuz i blew my nose on one of my dirty t shirts and he saw it and thought it was cum.
someone just puked in the library. they put up caution tape. i totally underestimated finals week.
my vagina has been out of service for wayy too long... this semester needs to start like right now
we woke up to him feeding us cheetos at 3am. and by feeding i mean shoving them in our mouths and saying "i mean who doesn't like cheetos"
i mean, what better way to remind him of his failures in life than to fuck his roommate/fraternity brother?
I'm afraid you are becoming too bourgeois with your switch from boxed wine to bottled.
And I would just like to take the time to say my boobs look great today.
me blowing you awake is the exact turn i want our relationship to take
All in all only spent $2 at the bar ln... Fucking love having a vagina
Just followed a blind kid around for 20 minutes to see how awesome his guide dog was. And he was pretty fucking awesome
i was on the fire escape while he ate me out for a while before i realized he had shut the door behind us and locked us out and i proceeded to climb down the stairs and climb back into the party through the window.
i can only hope to be on your level one day.
So apparently my mom hired someone who goes by "DJ Dog Dick" for the family christmas party?
Just wiped the ashes off my forehead before he came over to have sex. Definitely going to hell.
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