so im in the parking lot of taco bell eating a taco...and some girl just got out of a car and screamed at the top of her lungs "XANEX FOR SALE!!!!" i fucking love Hamilton.
my mom just informed me that i masturbate loudly
If Jimminey Cricket were here with me he would be so disappointed.
after we had sex last night he told me he smelled like my vagina. and then he said that if his roommate had a vagina he would probably smell like it. because "they hug weird and shit."
I just had sex in a moon bounce. It is all down hill from here.
His roomates just started party boying me. He stood there with the look of horror on his face.
critical mistake not lubing the nipples
ex-cheerleader. ex-gymnast. ex-dancer. i dont even know who to go for tonight
You have to understand, he didn't so much come out of the closet as he backflipped out of it with an accompanying marching band.
My mom just covered me while I peed in the street. I love her. i also love parents weekend.
He just said his penis sings like Mariah Carey...Im going with drunken.
She went outside in nothing but her panties and came back inside 15 minutes later wearing a different pair of panties.
So, I almost went hone with a French guy and a drag queen. Together. Then I became sober enough to realize, that's not my style.
BUT YOU GOTTA TASTE THE RAINBOW!!
That's what Skittles are for!
Give me the sexing that I truly desire and I will reveal to you the mysterious location of the PBR's
Randomize
