He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
when a 14 year old is judging you, you know you've had too much to drink
i was considerably less excited after they told me my present didnt have a penis
The good news is the bleeding stopped. I think I'm going to sober up before I tell you the bad news though.
He came out in cowboy boots and underpants holding a beer while he hugged my mom. I love Montana.
Ja rule starts his prison sentence today #3475th reason we should drink tonight
Oh, and I'm only keeping her around till spring. Doing the hunt for cunt is too tough in 12" of snow.
There are twenty thousand men on this campus, please have sex with someone who isn't my drug dealer
Hey dude this is some next level no homo shit but im gonna get 2 tickets to the opera and go Hail Mary on this one girl. U take the extra ticket if i fail.
Yo I get this girl alone in my room last night but she bounces cus she thought the full house poster was "weird"
I came in like 30 seconds, and my dog got to watch me take the walk of shame to the bathroom to clean up. All in all, not my best performance.
I'm pretty sure the guy on the dance floor with crutches just smacked me in the butt with one. Do you think he's flirting?
I once took a shot of lighter fluid.. That's not a secret just a fucked up story
Do not ever look at a picture of an erect ostrich penis. You will regret it.
This town reeks of teen pregnancy.
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