I wanna come home
And do what?
Kiss. Rip clothes off. Repeat.
so after the bed broke we walked out of the room to a standing ovation
I intend to get homeless drunk
Wow... that's disturbing man, and their not even my balls
I did the walk of shame wearing his scrubs. Fucking med school students is the way to go.
I wore a firefighters hat and drank beer all night. They had to drive me home after breaking the beer pong table, they told me I was welcome back tonight though...
My shoe was in my mailbox this morning. I can't stay sober today.
We all just did coke and we're coloring so if you're sober its pointless for you to come over here
He said "I can't wait for you to feel me inside of you so I can tell you gently that you're mine" and left me a 4 minute voice mail of him crying after I told him I didn't want to be with him. 30 year olds are off limits.
So your bra was hanging in the Christmas tree last night at some point I think
He sent me a selfie with his cat. He has found a way to my heart. And pants.
dont know how to tell my grandparents I woke up in a frat house in the wrong town and that's why I can't see them today
We had sex on his grandparents floor... the taxidermy deer was staring at me the whole time!
I yelled at him as he left "you broke up with me. You lost your blow job privileges"
How proud should I be that I googled "dildo with wheels" and actually got the result I wanted?
Randomize
