Yours is on the dinner table...mine is in my underwear drawer.
and on the seventh day, God created megan fox
Regardless of the degree, it's probably not good to relate so closely to the Steve-O documentary.
trying to figure out who visited the hillshire farms website enough for it to be in my top sites.
I just realized I use Twitter to keep of track of when I get drunk.
Did you get drunk last night? You put Christian lyrics as your fb status again.
I'm just glad you're the only person I can have a "remember when we thought I was pregnant" conversation with.
I'm pretty sure they had a hash wedding cake. I love college weddings.
you're trying to get a guy who's been in a coma for 2 weeks and who thought he was in '08 yesterday to drive you to the liquor store?
yeah, you wanna come?
He returned my car yesterday. Found a duffel bag with beef jerky, condoms, and a handgun this morning. Slightly concerned
Please note: when a bouncer tells you to leave, pointing out that their career path makes them a much better judge what to do will not make you friends
It was the highest I'd ever been. I felt like a blob. A blob eating a burrito.
You wrapped yourself in tin-foil and told us you were Iron Man. I have pictures.
I'm in the recliner and i have a bottle of wine wedged in my cleavage, drinking from a straw. Clever and classy or pathetic and sloppy?
I think my liver just tried to kill me, we need to slow down
Randomize
