She wanted to fuck you. You threw up on her. Congrats.
New favorite sorority...they made me pancakes in the morning and welcomed back the walk of shame girls with a round of applause
.....then i was kicked out of my work christmas party......
throwing up in the shower isnt as glamorous as i expected
since when the fuck is that glamorous?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Green mimosas i think yes
He shit in a sock dude, you can't come back from that
How can someone be so bad at fingering? It's such a simple concept
we had break-up sex in a port-a-potty. how do you think it went?!
FYI, grandma is already drunk and using a bed sheet as a table cloth.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like the only way to get him to stop is by telling him i'm tired from fucking our other friend every night this week
Im pretty sure my housekeeper high fived her on the way out this morning
How is your new roommate working out
We are drinking at the laundromat. And will probably have sex later. So...pretty good.
Ps he swallowed my earring last night so yeah
not sure what the chiropractor did but my junk deserves a cape now.
Like, when both of your dads are drag queens you're bound to have some amazing Halloween makeup
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