I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
I can tuck mytits in my pants
If a fat man falls in the shower and nobody is in the apartment, does his pride still hurt? Answer: yes
You'll be the guy with the raft that sells burritos on the river. You'd be legendary.
Just wanted to remind you that you literally cut the underwear off a man.
Dude you should see the looks were getting for ordering a pitcher of beer with breakfast.
she screamed "my eye!" and it brought me a surge of bad memories. except she was yelling about a lemon.
its not thanksgiving till you and grandpa shotgun beers out in the shed, and lose
When are you comin back?
probably mid next week, depending on when i finish my remaining half gallons
He doesn't need to speak English. He needs to speak sex.
You screamed "There's a potato in my anus" and proceeded to attempt to grind with the bouncer. Also, I'm pretty sure our Chem teacher was in the same bar as us.
Thank you contacting dial-a-boner. Currently, our boner is on a run to service another client. You can either wait 2 hours for service, or share concurrent service with the current client.
He's a loser but she says we just don't see the good stuff about him. It's like she's dating the Charlie Brown Christmas Tree.
It's the never-ending clusterfuck that is my love life
I don’t care how cute or big a guy is I’m done with drunken hand jobs. It was like I was pulling a nine inch bungee cord for 25 minutes. Now My arm and shoulder is dead
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