You're a womanizer and a bitch.
I think the phrase "bag of smashed assholes" describes it best
When I saw him standing at full height, I realized exactly how much his body structure reminds me of his penis.
I just used my med student white coat as ID to buy beer at 9 in the morning
he was already passed out before we got there, so i already knew i was going to like him
I called him daddy. To his face. Somewhat sober. What more could I do?
You threw up? Were you ladylike while you did it? I'm wagering that you were. Like a Disney princess. Like a "Puke Me Pretty" Barbie.
I woke up smelling like chlorine with a broke toe. They know how to fucking party on lake lanier.
I feel like I got ass raped in the brain.
I'm sorry you caught us fucking in your bathroom. If it makes you feel any better when I tried to put my pants back on I dropped them in the toilet.
Drunk wound on my leg hast healed and neither has my dignity
BRING KITTENS I AM A GENIUS
They had like literally all the dildos. It looked like a seance for dick. I left the apartment and haven't been back.
God is tempting me with everything tonight. Brownies and dick, mostly.
So you're not gonna be in town tonight?! Your dick was the light at the end of my academic tunnel!
What am I thankful for..I figured out I can drink on antibiotics without getting sick thanks to the power of pot gummies
Randomize
