You screamed 'pound me, you big thick stud.' I looked around for porn cameras.
Shut up. I did not.
I really wish I was making that up.
I like complaining with weaving words and complex sentences. It makes me seem more sophisticated and less bitchy.
this episode of spongebob makes me wish crabby patties were real
She woke up with blood running down her face and asked the EMS guy where the keg was
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh it's happening. I'm Chugging a beer while sitting next to a 6 year old
I head back to the dorms in less than a week I'm not ready to see my roomate naked that much again.
Fuck. The basement bathroom I've been getting head in for 6 months just went 'Out of Service'.
Three people drank on "never have I had sex in a tractor." Iowa at its best?
I just saw that blonde chick you wanna bang rolling down the hall wearing a Thor mask..
Wow. We're meant to be..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you missed an awesome concert last night. some middle aged woman that was grinding on me kept trying to stick her hand down my pants. i ended up rewarding her tenacity by letting her hold onto it for a song, i think it made her night.
I need to puke. I need a shower. I need rehab. I need to detox and puke. I feel like demons are inside of me.
Sorry I just took 4 pills about 20 minutes ago so I'm feeling like a claw machine like people tell me were I need to go and what to do and I'm just like yes sir so I get the teddy bear but I set it on fire and it's kinda black on one side and there might be smoke coming off it.
Kick open the door, strike a pose, steal a boyfriend, end scene.
Cooked. Eating pizza. Didn't have a napkin so I took my shirt off and I'm using it.
You've got the chocolate, drugs and my pants. You hold all the cards...
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