I mean we're not committed. He's my first choice, sort of like miller lite. When I'm at the bar I'm going to order one, but if they don't maybe I'll go for a bud or blue moon. I'm certainly not going to stop drinking
i don't understand how she was down there for so long, she's like a mermaid, a blowjob giving mermaid.
Thursday nights need to stop happening to me.
I just called my mom 'Napoleon bronaparte'. I need to stop hanging out with you.
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This is the first time I have ever hoped it's poison ivy on my cock
They just called to see if he wanted to come in at 2am for overtime. He's trashed. He literally carried on a 10 minute convo with his boss about woodchucks. As in the animal
They sat at the bar while we waited for a table. When the hostess came to seat us, they were shitfaced, and swordfighting wth chop sticks.
Lol. No. We cannot eat chicken while we have sex. No.
How did our waiter from olive garden end up passed out drunk in my roommate's bed?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When did it become appropriate to call your mother the morning after? While still naked in bed? WHEN?!
I cried at the bouncer while saying I wished he was my father... They had no idea what to do with me.
omg i wish you could see the front of my car.
There's literally a dust print of your body and your arm trying to hold on and the other one where your fingers visibly dragged down the hood.
He made me twerk for scrambled eggs... I regret nothing
I threw up in bed last night and tried cleaning it with oldspice and baby powder
No way in hell. Unless I was drunk Tindering again....my swiping finger gets drunk too I guess
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