Someone sent me a drink from across the bar. It was water.
As it would turn out, "jesusssssss" is not the password to enter Faith Chapel's wifi network.
he kept asking me "do you love it? tell me you love it" as I was riding him.
and...?
I told him it was alright.
oh no, im for sure still drunk. i wana eat evrything in the fancy feast commercial... everything
how do I tell the students with a crush on me, that yes, I am open to receiving blowjobs in exchange for grades?
You should've come to the party. It was like an identity parade of everyone you screwed last year.
Dude if you're not gonna answer them I'm gonna stop snapchatting you my hook ups
On Wednesday I'm putting wine in a water bottle and crashing Margaret thatchers funeral
I'm seriously considering refraining from drinking on school nights.
I like how you say that with 4 school days left of the school year..
Nothing shouts "I'm single" like a thousand needlepoint pillows.
My drug dealer bought me a book for Christmas. What a gentleman.
Dude how much would someone have to pay you to get you to slide your vagina across a bald man's head because Honestly I'd do it for the experience alone. but money would be nice too\n\nI'm thinkin like 500 bucks. Maybe 700
Why are you like this.
Recliner chair sex has moments of worry....just don't.
We sat at the bar and made fun of everyone around us. I'm in love
Oral stamina is what keeps life exciting
Randomize
