forecast for tonight- shitshow with a chance of tbell
my version of bright and sunny.
i just google imaged poop.
so i decided not to tell her that her fiance is cheating since i already bought the bridesmaid dess
She said she didn't have time to shave "there"
Then she shouldn't have had time to order the lobster.
the whole time he was cumming, he did the joey lawrence WHOA. over and over. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA.
there was a guy who was being paid to stand outside of Abercrombie without a shirt on... normally i would be okay with this but he was 40...
I'm sober enough to question why I have your name as "the wolverine" in my phone.
Drunk me was responsible for doing it, but sober me was definitely cheering him on
It's like a double rainbow in both sides of the sky mixed with The Jeffersons.
Why did I wake up with condoms on all my fingers?
Considering the girl you hooked up with, I'd be concerned about not having one on your penis.
My TA is here with a sombrero and an entire bottle of Svedka. Skip jury duty.
Well I didn't get a shacker shirt but I somehow managed to come home with superman socks
What the fuck were you guys talking about?
Lube wrestling.
Oh, makes sense.
What, That's like a total 7 inches of cock and 6 are from Joe. Don't be mad at me because you had the lamest orgy ever.
....even the bartender was embarrassed for her
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