If your dick isn't up when i get home you're catching tonight.
I just ditched my friends to hang out with the chilis restaurant crew...one of these girls better have daddy issues
Just gave a gay guy pointers on how to make anal not hurt. Reevaluation of life choices: in progress.
Drug-sniffing dog walked past me and my suitcase in the train station. My opinion: they need a new dog
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
In the midst of you puking your guts out, you stopped, looked at the globe in front of you and whispered "America.."
Thanks, girl! That means a lot. I can't wait to share my jail stories with you over salad and cupcakes.
Serious question: Should I volunteer to get tazered? My instincts say no but my wild side says yes.
Then I'll go home and you two can do whatever two same sex heterosexual soul mates do
ALMOST WRECKED MY SCOOTER. DAVE FRANCO HAS A TWIN AMD HE GOES HERE
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Will you fuck me while I eat my burrito though? I'm kind of hungry.
Don't have sex in a tent there are so many opportunities for infections
I went down on her on the dining room table. That should count for something.
I only drink at bars with bathrooms big enough to have sex in.
I called him the wrong name all night, yet I still got a ride home from the party and hooked up with the guy. I'm irresistible.
It was great. We stayed up all night talking about objects he'd put in his theoretical vagina.
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