Hey its my first time.
I think you mean "it's my first time"
I would make tea from her tampons just to see her tits
we usually just have an Easter beer hunt and never end up at church anyways
There are paw prints all over my ceiling.
His ankle bracelet went off in the middle of sex. That makes a girl reevaluate her life...
I just threw up every bad decision and it hurts
I threw up for like 20 hours. Im gonna be the DD for the next 5 years.
I am seriously thinking about wearing a blanket as a cape. So when I pass out tonight the blanket might keep me warm.
you didn't want to pay for the shots so you negotiated with the bartenders. Apparently 1 shot is worth 5 seconds of motor-boating you.
I feel like I should have backed off when "I love you" came out on the third date. Now I'm in her bed wondering which door my shrine is behind. Fuck.
Nope I went the fuck home like an adult
I cried over the lack of milkshakes I've consumed in the last month
Next guy I fuck must be a cowboy
I'm not big on drama but you need to put your pants on and leave.
IDK if she's gay or not, but there is something about the way she looks at me that says "do dirty dirty things to me." I have no choice but to oblige.
Randomize
