I just tried to pee in a pad to see if it was like a diaper. it's not.
Seriously, stop peeing all over the toilet seat. It looks like movie theatre butter.
I'd give my left nut to see you
don't do that. I like the set
We had sex and then he fed me pie. This is the best friends-with-benefits situation ever.
I have a gash on my leg an a lobster leg in my purse.
If there was a saddle on his sack, she would ride it.
Bon Iver should never be played when you just ate shrooms.
I remember halftime. Then I woke up in Spain. I need a drink in order to process this.
Hey your work video crashed my computer. The 8 pornos running in the other window didn't. Congratulations.
He started to lick a stick of butter and was calling it Jennifer.
And you said I'm not athletic, I rubbed one out with my sports band on, it's the same as walking 1/4 mile.
Honestly, this is a first for me. I've always prided myself on my ability to pretend to get along with others.
I swear, the guy behind me wasn't paying attention until the words "middle aged fuckboy" came out of my mouth.
He hit me with his bagpipe
Isnt that against the lesbian handbook?
Dude. Don't do acid and go to Disney on ice. Hear my warnings. That snow monster will fuck your shit up.
Randomize
