I think I just got seasick
you're not on a boat
he has a waterbed.
Do you realize that Last night you pissed in my closet and then walked to the bathroom to wash your hands?
oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
Dude you can sell sperm for 100 to 250 bucks a time. And the best part is there will be kids all over the world that will have me as a daddy. It's like I'm jerking off my way into ruling the world
we're going to dress like we're asking for it, because we are
You were sad because he was "taking it out on the plant"
Hey, I got 20% of the people home that I was responsible for. I can't be expected to do much more.
Blasting venetian snares and drinking a beer. I love being an adult. It's like being a child but with beer for breakfast, better music, and no one yells at you.
Weird come down, just saw a woman on the train go to grab something and realised she had terrifying hands. They literally filled me with dread. I don't think I'm ok.
Well she described you as a "Sex-Viking", which seemed to be only slightly related to the red beard. So things are looking good!
God if that man would just have sex with me every time I got mad life would be so much easier...
looked up people from my old yearbooks. 3 ex boyfriends are gay. im getting drunk now.
I wish I could accurately explain the embarrassment of standing in your bathroom with women's nair on your ass waiting to get in the shower.
If you fuck up my birthday by dying I will kick your fucking corpse.
Also, my guy said they would be around. And i clarified that when I asked him for mushrooms he didn't hear "a mushroom or two" but rather understood I meant "all the mushrooms you can find between now and 4th of July."
Randomize
