you were carrying around a glass of vodka telling everyone it was Russian water
Mark my words im gonna be the drunkest groomsman outta spite for him having his wedding on a gameday
IDK who she called, but some guy came into the party, flying drop kicked Joe said never again. She has to invite him around again.
i just thought that perhaps i was done with the "boning on someone else's futon" stage of my life. guess not.
idk. I was on the deck with Dominic and i felt something weird on my arm. I looked down and you were licking my elbow.
she made sit in a corner, drink nothing but water and told me she was worried about me because i picked up an irish guy at a taxi rank. says the girl who invented tequila night and fucked a guy in a park across the street from a sweet sixteenth.
It might have taken me 30 minutes but I finally finished the toast I made. That hungover.
I'm more of a 'talk at me while I stare at you' kinda girl.
One small step for man, one big gay fierce leap for gays!
Two dicks, one me.
Yoga's definitely paying off.
I hope to God it's not the new neighbors having sex, because what I'm hearing sounds like a mildly defective vuvuzela or a cow giving birth.
I'd climb him like a horny MILF spider monkey.
he told me his feelings for me AFTER sex, so that means he meant it right?
Two days ago a random guy asked me to sign his forehead 'cause he wanted to have the name of the prettiest girl in the bar on him and never wash it. I just saw him and my signature still there...
I'm going to draw something on my chest and I need to incorporate my nipples. Any ideas?
Randomize
