Ps there is totally a drug addled prostitute in olympic pizza asking for change for a 100 bill
We had like 4 guys come over and buy us all drinks as an excuse to hit on Kendra. Hanging out with her is now officially fiscally responsible.
bro...we were banging on her floor and her dog walked in and started licking my balls
My brother brings gifts into my room to wrap them. It's a pizza cutter and a box of condoms..
Could you explain why there is an Australian passport in your toilet?
He made me stop in the middle of giving him a blowjob so he could go get his glasses. because he "wanted to see". I need to stop dating nerds.
theres pictures of him knuckle deep in her, both of them thumbs up and cheesin. someone should take her kid away
Jazzercise themed birthday pub crawl. 6 bars in 6 hours.everyone was a hot mess.
Yah at one point i was listening to metallica and doing pushups last night. I went thru alot of emotions.
i think the title to my autobiography shall be, "a bottle of vodka and various pieces of meat"
and this is why you're my favorite gay friend.
you are dancing on the line between undergrad and alcoholic.
No padding. I spent my whole summer with my nips out. October don't need that too.
I just threw up again because I opened my eyes... God is laughing. I resorted to taking the Mexican Dramamine because I feel seasick from walking. Not helping.
YET AGAIN, my financial planning for 2013 consists MOSTLY of eating chipotle as "brain food" and drinking Heavily before the Jeopardy contestant test.
I'm getting paid to get fucked up. How much better could this get?
Randomize
