i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she can't stop having the shits.
You want looks pregnant, is pregnant, or the one with a kid.
While I'm in the bathroom taking a piss you think of a way to get us the hell out of here.
u sent me just one boob. one just doesnt do it for me. u dont get full on a half a rack of ribs u need a full one
we just toasted to your mouth on alex's balls at the bar
sorry about calling you the devil all night.
Literally 6000 elephants in my backyard.
Had to have a serious talk with my liver and remind it that it is my birthday weekend and there are three more nights like last night ahead of us
The pride tent is doing free lube tastings. There is also a mechanical bull.
Valentines day isn't about being a couple in love..... It's about chocolate and faking orgasms.
There has to be a way to make college graduation in Las Vegas different than any other Tuesday in Las Vegas. Strippers? Been there. Getting arrested for public indecency on the strip? Done that.
Jesus I was next level high last night having a mental epiphany about the state of Virginia
He is a beautiful butterfly covered in tattoos and naked.
Turns out my mom didn't really want to know I was in a new dimension last night from smoking so much.
just because he was passed out beside the toilet, didn't give you tge right to pee on him
my aim is off when im drunk
Randomize
