Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time
The bong broke. we're having a little funeral followed by an inaugeration service for the new one
Have you ever seen a midget fist pump? BEST. THING. EVERRRRR.
He's paying me $45 to clean his room and $55 if i find the oxy that he lost.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My dad told me my only assignment from now til graduation is to not die. it's a legit concern for him.
Ask if he wants his tooth back. It's in the freezer. In the box of hotpockets.
is it sad that i can honestly say it was the best birthday sex i've ever had and it was still terrible?
Me and the guy at the liquor store are on a first name basis, college is all about networking.
We made out a little and then he gave me some weed. I would say it was a pretty productive stop on my way home
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I know how vodka works Grace. I'm drunk, not stupid.
How weird would it be to ask your bro to 3d print your dick for me
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
How long do I have to listen to him talk about the chickens before telling him I just really want to fuck? Note: it's already been twelve minutes.
Adderall went through the wash. Took it anyway. Wish me luck.
Trust me, I’ve got a sixth sense about dicks that tells me if a guy knows how to fuck and it’s tingling. You need to prove me right!
I’m not going to bang him just to confirm your Dickth Sense
The Dickth Sense!!! I love it! It’ll be our first porno!
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