please tell me if i'm home and in my bed
negative
come find me please
And that's when he stuck his finger up his own ass to prove it would feel good...
I want to tell you about my weekend in person so I can see your look of judgement and disgust.
it's been like two and a half months. And I swear, I keep seeing walking dicks. I think I'm going crazy cause of lack of sex..
Apparently the last thing they remember of me was me stumbing into a bathroom, then falling out 5 minutes later clutching a butter knife repeating "ketamine goes in my face hole"
downstairs . braiding the drunk passed out girls hair, she will thank us In the morning
There are bruises on the top of my foot. The pole won.
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
She gained 35 lbs and has an ankle bracelet, time for new booty call.
I sang again at the bar lastnight I don't think alanis morrset knew when she wrote you outta know that the drunk version was going to be go fuck yourself Josh and Chelsea. I love $2 wells.
Well... this vagina won't eat itself
I just puked in my non fat yogurt... But it's non fat in hopes that someone wants to eat my vagina
Why did you fed-x me a peanut butter sandwich?
It seemed like the thing to do. There's popcorn on it too.
STOP smoking sooo much weed. Damn
i don't think i have enough personality to make it through this date sober.
I felt like the hulk waking up from a black out except with munchies
Masturbated furiously for a half hour; ate a fistful of chocolate, then took a nap. Woke up and finished wrapping presents. I've got this holiday thing down.
Randomize
