Just saw ur first draft of ur suicide note.
You spelled "worthless" wrong.
In Canada she would be a 10 but here in America she's only a 7
you handled that situation with as much grace as someone puking involuntarily could
cheating on your boyfriend is the best diet ever, I've barely eaten in days. The guilt is killing me
I woke up tied to the door handle with reindeer patterned socks. You can tell it's Christmas.
Two portable blenders. We are going to be popular and dangerous.
I think ppl see us as an unstoppable drunken force
I believe I convinced two girls to makeout for freedom last night Hahaha
I just had to dig under a pile of condoms in my desk drawer to get to a blue book. Summer is officially over.
Malt liquor mondays...better in theory.
One of those days. Also, your pants are now in my protective custody.
Apparently I filled my purse with chicken nuggets and told my mom I was a "sexual squirrel."
i out mim tonsoeep
THIS IS WHAT CELL PHONES ARE FOR! So you can tell me that you're bringing your coworker who lives in the "Halleleuia community" home for a beer SO I'M NOT DRESSED IN LEATHER LINGERIE WHEN HE WALKS IN THE FUCKING DOOR!!
Slept in and having coffee. No sounds of whipping and no veiny dildos next to me. This is good. How's your mornin?
Randomize
