sometimes I tug on my anal hairs for pleasure
you've officially gone too far. we are no longer friends
I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! Live in the flesh!
We watched a biography of Frida Kahlo in class today. It was depressing. A chick with a UNIBROW just put my sex life to shame.
you made them have somersault races with you thru the lobby..
You NEED to fuck him he's a doctor with one leg. Are you kidding me right now. This will definitely make the list. Plus he buys all of us drinks.
Her bed is on wheels, so we woke up in the kitchen.
Why doesn't he get that I would rather give him blow jobs than be in a relationship?
Apparently I'm at the point in my life where I can wake up with a dick in my face and then go back to sleep
i don't even know why we got arrested this time. i think the cops just like our company at this point
Dude. I legit missed class because I got too engrossed in the porn I was watching. Also I need to figure out how to get as flexible as these chicks. Some of the positions they do are outrageous.
I just fist bumped God in my head for last night. What a bro.
Don't remember our skype call last night too well, but did I pee while skyping you?
I may have interrupted sex but im bringing them both to McDonalds. Am I not the greatest older sister ever?
It's obvious you're hotter. You've been doing a married guy for almost 2 years.
I just folded my laundry and I washed 3 pairs of underwear and 6 jizz towels. Clearly I'm quarantining right.
Randomize
