am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
hey i know this is weird but does alcohol affect pregnancy tests?
its freezing days like this when i seriously consider littering to speed up the global warming processes.
i woke up next to the toilet with a chipped tooth, somebody elses shirt on, and a random guys id in my pocket
I just figured out that you can toast a marshmallow with a butter knife and a cigarette lighter. I'm like a retarded Mister Wizard
In hindsight buying the pill crusher with my vicodin prescription might have been too much.
You know what's worse than asking for the morning after pill? Asking for the morning after pill in a sketchy hospital in a foreign country where no one speaks English.
He called it restless penis syndrome. I call it cheating.
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
There is nothing quite so awkward as watching topless bullriding with your mother next to you..
Lets think Pancakes and sausages into existence
I think I'm destined to be the stoner version of one of those successful but emotionally unavailable characters Sandra Bullock always plays in movies
I hope you get stoned and think that you're a seal in shark infested waters
He was super adorable, like I wanna pinch his cheeks while I fuck him...
OF COURSE I NEED TO KNOW I MUST KNOW EVERYTHING
YOU ARE NOT OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
I AM OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
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