I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
For the millionth time in his career, Brett Favre has screwed over the Vikings
Definitely contact high. Thirty miles an hour listening too i can see clearly now wanting too eat the steering wheel
Last thing I remember is Dusty riding the bikes we "borrowed" from the hotel through the CVS while the rest of us picked up the girls who were laughing at him
I'd just like to inform all involved that walking into a liquor store holding a milk crate at the beginning of a night as stock ends badly
woke up holding a soft boiled egg cup and empty bottle of rum. apparently i couldn't find a shot glass
We hooked up. It felt slightly wrong considering he is my foreign exchange student but there's a reason America imports. Foreigners got the goods.
Think of it this way, instead of a puppy, we're getting a baby.
I've just informed her that you've voted her Chief-Adult-In-Charge-Of-Shit and that she will take the oath of office on Fri Dec 14th at 8 pm with her hand on a bottle of Jager.
Whatever it's Canadian jail, it's not like Guatemala or something. It'll be nice and cushy and they'll probably throw him a big bday party with all his friends and strippers
Well for decently drunk, in the woods, last-person-i-should-be-hooking-up-with sex, i thought it was pretty good.
Judging by the progress I've made since I woke up (none) I'm thinking this hangover may keep me in bed.
Yeah just pls explain the dishes and the dildo. I don't want to lose my job over a dick in the cooler.
Being high is definitely not the perfect addition to this family dinner. No. My grandma trips me the fuck out.
Want to meet at a cool spot and just park like cops side-by-side and you can eat some potatoes and I can smoke a cigarette in your face?
Randomize
