My RA just tried to write me up for having sex too loudly during quiet hours.
if you were to get worldwide popularity from playing guitar with a plastic yellow bat while drunk on YouTube, would you hate me?
he opened up his "box of magic": a crusty tube of KY jelly, three expired condoms, a fingertip vibrater, and a jar of marshmallow fluff.
They were fighting, but then they bumped into the bong and it shattered. After that they just hugged and cried.
He kept yelling "osteoporosis" and threw milk at her because she broke her arm.
Don't make it weird, I don't think about you when I'm climaxing, it's just that I see you rooting me on.
He's sitting in his room on Facebook with nothing but a pillow covering his crotch. I can't help you at the moment.
She's on her period. You don't know what fear is.
Like I want to yell at him for pissing on my floor but there's still a chance its my pee....
I'm just trying to win a butt plug dude
I ate 1200 calories worth of chocolate covered marshmallows and googled why it is okay to be single forever
Remember the time you puked your contact lens out?
I'm really interested in the size of his penis so report back on that one
I was so drunk, he put me to bed and went down stairs to hang out with his friends. Apparently, I was curled up in the closet, spooning the dresser when he came back up.
i'm currently watching a guy eat a bunch of cacti and i have lost all faith in humanity
**cactuseses
Randomize
