i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
I woke up to a bunch of college seniors jacking off a horse in my face. Geuss who didnt move in time?
I was pretty stoned. I thought I needed a seatbelt at the restaurant.
I love reading their "i love you more" , "no i love you more" war on facebook today knowing that he hooked up with me last night. I bet i know who wins that one.
My eyes got the double whammy. Once with pepperspray from the riot the other with cum. Both of which i did nothing to deserve.
It's great when the cashier at the liquor store asks "weren't you wearing those clothes yesterday"
Made a pan flute out of the varyingly empty beer bottles on the table. Played a glorious tune that paid tribute to the winds.
That doesn't mean I'm a slut. Unless McFlurries are involved.
I will rub McFlurries all over you.
All I vaguely remember from last night is getting up on that nice mahogany table and debating about squirrel's rights
How much more is Amanda Bynes going to rip out our hearts?!?!?
Overall a good night - broke my toe giving that cop a blowjob though...so there's that...
I did wake up to a random meat and cheese plate next to my bed, that was a thrill.
dude, next time you say lets go on an adventure, tell me if there are going to be psychotrophics involved before hand.
Last night I realized my life is an experiment of really bad decisions when I had to leave without my underwear. But at least I'm expanding my life experience.
They gave my sperm a pep talk after they found out we were trying.to have.a baby.
Randomize
