My bad bro. I had no idea that when i suggested our triva team name be my last abortion tickled, that she would bring up cancun. Stay strong i think she really liked you
everytime someone famous vagina shows up in pics, i have to go check my own vagina to make sure mine dont look all wrinkledy and flabby like that....i want my lips plump and succulent
I was cleaning out my bag and I found some xanax wrapped in plastic with a note that said "use in case of emergency"
they told me they were banning four lokos so yeah i did have to buy 42 of them
he just made me do "this little piggy" to his toes.
We had phone sex and he came in his sink. i will never eat off one of his plates again
i'm using salt from the free peanuts to stop the bleeding.
Explain it like you would if you were talking to a 5 yo
Wait no, like you would to a stoned high school freshman.
I asked him if he wanted a pillow, and he replied "No. Batman never had pillows."
Made up a full house drinking game
On my way.
I can't sleep. My mind keeps asking "turn down for what?" but it won't accept any of my answers.
I broke her handcuffs. I feel like an animal.
YALL MOTHERFUCKERS WANNA WATCH HEAVY METAL AND SMOKE WEED AND PLAY POOL AND DRINK BEER AND SMOKE WEED
So I decided to sleep with him for the first time in months so I can convince him it's his kid instead of the other guy
Is it still sex if there's no nudity, no orgasms, but the neighbors bang on the wall and ask you to stop? I've honestly forgotten.
Randomize
