More tranny stories later!
The professor just announced to the class that I talked to him in the bar on my birthday.
life is sad when you just turned 21 and youre doing late night rogaine runs...
There is a pube in my fucking eyeball
I just ate powdered extacy out of my wallet. I think I might have for a second of my reasonable life been on your level.
It doesn't matter how many beers you've had, it's unacceptable to piss in someone's helmet after a playoff win.
For graduation he gave me roses, a giraffe necklace, and a butt plug. I think this might be my one shot at true love
I'm resourceful. I forgot we don't have coca cola so now I'm drinking Jack & Dew or Mountain Daniels. Also, I haven't decided on an official name yet for this drink. I'm leaning toward Jack & Dew
Was just told that I slept on the counter using a loaf of bread as a pillow. Clearly my life is going well.
Okay first of all, that is a sick ass nickname please call me that forever. Second, i need your help.
We had to push you home in an abandoned shopping trolley. You thought you were in a pirate boat and kept yelling "AVAST, ME HEARTIES".
We will just distract him with tacos and porn.
This is getting exciting. I almost wanna turn off all the lights, get some popcorn, and stare at my phone screen to see if she's going to say yes or not
And on a much sadder note, I'm way to drunk for this right now
He fucked me while I was smoking his blunt. His apartment was trashed and he drives a van that looks like it’s been hit by a train but still 10/10 would fuck again.
I lysoled the money\n(631): wrong text lmao
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