Sundresses, hats, and big glasses. That is the greatest trick the devil ever taught women.
Is it weird I updated my facebook status from my phone while I had explosive diarrhea in my boss's private bathroom?
That would be awkward if he commented on your status
Best look from Detroit today: running across the street with your buttcheeks on display carrying a 40 oz. Or maybe being crazy-pregnant and screaming and slamming a pay phone. Toss up.
I just don't understand how my upright asian catholic roommate is getting more than me.
please hurry. your mom just evil laughed to herself in the kitchen like she's plotting my death.
So he thinks I sent him a picture of my boob last night, but it was really just a close up of my arm.
I left puerto rico a week ago and my vagina still smells like coconut.
I feel like everything in this room is sweating
Aaaand my life has been reduced to whether I can reach to flush my puke down the toilet using my foot. The answer is yes.
If your plan is to re-bang every girl you banged in high school - you're gonna need a spread sheet and clip board.
His mom walking in on us having sex was probably the highlight of the night
sorry I blacked out our whole relationship
It's only ok to pee out the window in the afternoon when you're drunk.
I'm not sure. I have to find the Greeks I was with last night and see if they can explain to me why I can't hear out of my right ear and why I look like I got the shit kicked out of me
is caitlin alive?
ya she's alive she's watching a movie
ok remind her she drank toilet water then.
Randomize
