wrong asian. never thought that would happen.
i had a dream last night that my liver tore its self out of my body and ran away.
on the bus. saw a kid get off at a red light, puke on the sidewalk, and get back on.
Wife passed out. Doing shots with the hot bartender... Don't tell me I don't know how to celebrate a 1yr anniversary
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Nm. Exausted and my teeth just fell out again
Why does every bad decision I make wind up having 1000 likes on YouTube?
Dude that soap I drank last night is fucking killing me.
I feel like he better crank it up to level RG IV tomorrow. It's the fucking playoffs.
Waking up in a NH rest stop and reading through my texts is definitely a familiar low
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
"YOU A2TE UNDERAGE LOL" Got that at 2am. Gotta stop dating alcoholics.
i will not be out-irished. not this night. if i don't wake up tomorrow handcuffed to a hospital bed, i have failed my ancestors.
First week is awesome. Freshman girls prancing around everywhere like newborn baby deer looking for a dick to jump on
I mean, don't most people have like a two week grace period where it's okay to ditch new friends?
You didnt text me.. I'm on your street with golf clubs
I just found three upside down bottles of grapejuice in a triangle around the air freshener above my toilet... I guess it was one of those nights
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