This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
First thing she said after sex was.. are you baptised by chance?
my mom just served us mashed potatoes with an ice cream scoop. When I asked her why, she said she thought it would make dinner 'more fancy'...
he just asked me if he could show me what he wanted to do to me using his action figures. where do i find these freaks?
I'm the only kid serving jury duty. And I'm the only one who may walk out of here in handcuffs for a warrant. I'm enabling these people to doubt America's youth once again.
I suppose drinking a cosmo at lunch alone can't look good but I mean... sometimes it's just necessary
He was standing in the front door with a kareoke machine yelling at the neighbors as the unloaded their van
Should I have a moral quandary about Skyping topless with him while his son slept in the other room?
Wow. I grabbed the wrong container to rinse my contacts- it was a beer. And it comes out waaaay faster than saline.
I totally accidentally said "we don't go around hammering girls in the rear" in front of 132 5th graders today.
I didn't have the heart to tell him that the reason my vagina was so "prelubricated" was because I had just had another gentleman caller an hour earlier. So, when he commented about how turned on I appeared, I just went with it.
I mean your new thing is losing body parts and feeling colors so its not like we are hurting for entertainment
There was a point where you were singing "Friends in Low Places" to yourself while Juicy J was playing so I got worried.
The house across the street caught on fire today, Drunk people high centered their car tonight. Looking out my front window I get to watch police chases all the time. I am going to miss this place.
He made me cum 3 times, then immediately after sex packed a bowl and passed it to me. Yeah.. I'll keep him.
Randomize
