meow
WTF. STOP SENDING ME ANIMAL NOISES. ITS FUCKING WEIRD.
is there an easy way to say "i didnt plan on sleeping with you until i saw how drunk you were" ?
I woke up with ten beers in my bag that hoarded at the party last night. Rally? Its five somewhere.
Wackin it to the USA womens soccer team. My own personal way of saying job well done.
How the hell did he get a boner in that type of situation?
I may or may not have just sent the bartender a pic of me in my slutty cheerleader costume with the caption "rah rah ree, gimme yo d"
We definitely need to avoid these "I'm gonna get stabbed if I stay here any longer" partys
Idk, you were a drunk pirate that kept stealing pieces of people's costumes to keep as your booty.
That would explain all the random shit in my room...
I have to take tonight off from shenanigans. My liver is planning a coup
I'm 99% sure I just flashed my dad with my vagina. So that's the new low now.
Welp, I just herniated a vocal cord during sex. How was your night?
And you said I'm not athletic, I rubbed one out with my sports band on, it's the same as walking 1/4 mile.
You are talking to me during sexting hours. Be careful, innuendos are taken seriously
I love you even if you are fucked up. If you fall, i'll just get on top of you.
let me assure you that a rugburn on your forehead is the worst side effect of tequila i have experienced to date.
Randomize
