OMG - This guy with a mullet just told me - it wasn't a mullet - but his hair dresser layered it wrong. It's so walmart in here. I hate you.
I put the beer in my little red riding hood basket.
i knew he was a douchebag when his facebook activities were "ladeis," and "gettin crunk wit ladeis"
I finally got laid.. you said it wouldn't happen.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Guy having heart attack in McDonalds. Classic.
Just croosed over that too drunk for chemistry class line
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
The blackout version of me left a ransom note to the sober self. Somebody needs to control that guy
I just can't promise there won't be a reason to hit you in the face with a dildo again in the future.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also, sex on a first date is no, right? Really, I just don't want to clean my apartment, but I'm trying to hide behind "morals" in an effort to appear less lazy.
Eredayimstrugglin ..Can we talk about the fact that I just typed "er" and it autocorrected to that. Fuck my life.
he didn't stitch me up last time. in fact, he yelled at me for bleeding.
The port-o-potty that I peed in last night didn't actually have a toilet in it. And i never told anyone until this moment.
He is more interested in finding his sweater than he is in having sex with me. It better be a great fucking sweater.
Apparently the guy with the moaning gf that lives above us is in my DES class... AWKWARD
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