i have essays due online every friday...im just going to write 'im hungover' for every one
How long is a courtesy make out supposed to last??
So im on with some ukrainian stripper for a vodka tasting tomorrow. If I die tell my family im awesome
I'm pretty sure we scarred one of our coworkers. This is the second time he has caught us both fully undressed and banging at work.
Either he has bad timing or he wants to join.
This breakup hit defcon 5. Walked to pathmark with a denim jacket over my nightgown to get ben and jerrys. On sale btw.
If I don't have hickies that last till tuesday, I didn't do this weekend right
So the guy I hooked up with during welcome week just tried to booty call me from across the lecture hall at 9am. I don't think he gets how this works...
Today is my 3 year wedding anniversary...and I've seen three different dicks.
If a treadmill opens up I'll run next to him and then fall off so he has to give me mouth to mouth
I feel bad for her. If you sacrifice and have a chubby husband I feel that you assume he's not going to cheat on you....
I wanna hang out. The cats don't talk back.
So I've already made 5 bad decisions today, wyd?
It was kind of like hidden Mickey ears, but with dicks.
all I remember is them saying he had a big dick and the next thing I know I’m leaving with him
I was running because his wife invited me to join them on their kinky Vegas weekend. Crossing state lines is too much commitment for me.
Randomize
