That guy over there looks like a cartoon/action figure.
omg, i know.
we're too high.
just took a pee in my own yard...decided i had to poo..only got a dingle berry....wiped it away with my finger..help me...my mom AND dad are home.
He slapped my ass and hummed the jello theme song, which was followed by an overly loud "IT'S ALIVE!"
i'm at the gym and so are four guys who have seen my tits. i need winter break.
Had to use Google translator to be able to tell the cleaning lady not to throw away the condoms we have strategically placed throughout the house.
He lit his shirt on fire at the bar by putting a lit cigarette in the pocket to "save for later."
see if i had a dick i'd definitely smack people in the face with it
I booked us a cruise for November. Lose 20 pounds and don't cheat on me before then.
You started drinking at 2:30, did you really think you would be able to remember?
Passing out is my livers way of protecting my mind.
But think about it. I could put her gold medal around my penis
finding an unopened condom on the ground can really change your outlook on the night
The secret to finals week is to have an orgasm for every point you need on the test before you take it.
you dont know your limits until you wake up with a black eye and a bruised rib and find out you got ran over by a bicycle last night
I agree with that homeless guy though, you do need a haircut
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