Apparently I signed "I love you" on my bar tab last night.
i need to break up with him. i realized this while i was making a mental grocery list while we were having sex. this is not the first time i've done that.
well, it ended with me crying outside the strip club saying i don't want to be 21 anymoree. i'd say it was a great 21st birthday.
I stole a road cone for their 13 yr old son. Apparently I told him to put Christmas lights on it, and "treat her like a lady."
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I really wish you were half the slut you're sister was in college
I miss vodka workout Fridays
I noticed how good my hair still looked. Apparently rum and coke in it helps it stay curly thru sex. May be using this more often.
So help me Jesus we're never drinking together again. But weekends don't count. Amen.
I had such a pleasant walk of shame. The sun was shining, I smiled at all the high school suckers who judged me on their way to school, and I made friends with an old guy and his dog.
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I'm confident that their children would come out as 100% authentic rats
We can put you in charge of something
I can be in charge of being more wasted than anyone there so everyone feels comfortable being ridiculous
Walk of shame: Easter Edition. He is risen.
It's a little hazey but I think I tried to request Nelly last night. There was no dj. Not sure who I was talking to
He fed me jello shota while i was sitting on the toilet and then he peed in the shower
you ripped my door off of the hinges, kicked it in half and then proceeded to throw it down the stairs because i wouldn't make you a cheese burger
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