I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
I have so many mobile devices now, I only use my laptop for porn.
I threw up into my coffee this morning.
oh no you fucking didn't eat my mac and cheese you cunt
And i didn't ask you to do that, You showed your penis at your own free will.
Jail wasn't bad. Was poppin Xanax the whole way there
Dude. It just hit me for a second time. My thumbs are huge and moving very quickly. Like stampeding buffalo...
i walked in on you eating. you had the fridge wide open and you were rotating between steak and handfuls of captain crunch.
She said just put your tongue in there and don't linger. I have other things to do.
I have a broken liver
I see that the whole "let's take a break from drinking" has worked out really well for us.
I just want school to he over so we can build a big tent, do drugs inside it, and watch cartoons until the sun comes up.
That's all I've ever wanted.
So I bet a guy he could drink two irish car bombs faster than me and I lost. now he gets to name our first son. sory.
He used pronouns for his penis while sexting. I don't know what I did to deserve this.
MDMA IS GREAT AND YOU WERE THE WORST GIRLFRIEND EVER.
let me assure you that a rugburn on your forehead is the worst side effect of tequila i have experienced to date.
Randomize
