I don't even know what he looks like, all i've seen of him is his dick
the rest of him looks just as crooked
my neighbors garage sale is really cutting into the time of day when i can smoke weed on my deck.
being able to look good while almost puking is a skill that takes a lot of puking to develop.
oh my god, there is an imprint from the nuva ring in the christmas card my mom sent me. merry christmas.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have got to stop assigning last names to girls I get numbers from based on what I think will remind me of them... Sarah Petrydish is not an acceptable memory trigger
There are too many people and smells in this elevator for my hangover to handle.
I gotta figure out which 7 tampons in the box contains the drugs
Vodka?
Forever.
That man deserves a slow clap... He defied the power of the vagina
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And noooow we're smoking a ton of REALLY strong weed and THIS IS THE SOFTEST CAT EVER
I puked on his mom. Not my proudest moment
Dude I think the cat just licked the coke plate
I'm glad you had fun with your genitals.
2016 shall be rememered as the year I sharted while putting up the Christmas tree.
Dad is celebrating turning 45 by being drunk in a department store before two o'clock.
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