BEES IN MY FUCKING PANTS. HELP.
the best part about watching a meteor shower at 4 am is being able to masturbate in public and drink hot chocolate at the same time.
If I remember taking any of my finals after tomorrow night, it will not have been a successful night.
I managed to convince my mom that my hickey was a birth mark I have always had. She cried for an hour about being a terrible mother for never noticing it.
Of course it's dangerous. Why else would they hire us after we failed the drug test?
He didn't dress up but kept finding random pieces of costumes on the floor at each club. He was an 80s hair band warrior at the end of the night.
This morning my mouth tasted like fruit trees, battery acid, and magnums. Transferring schools was the best decision Ive ever made.
Hungover/still slightly drunk at work. Opened a bag of cheese with a box cutter. Pretty sure I need stitches.
He stopped in the middle of having sex to ask me what shampoo I use. Apparently my hair smelled good
We started pregaming at 8. It's 11, and her only 11:11 wish is to be sober. It's hard to not love her.
my phone went off during the middle of it and he ask what i was doing. he wouldn't let my reply with "your boss". ..
This is exactly why you shouldn't bang your bartender. Although the awkward free shots are a plus.
I tried smoking while wearing a horse mask, it was the worst thing I've ever smelled
He's driving 2 hours to visit me and he's bringing weed. I love him so much.
Hope you’re getting action boo.
Definitely no. I woke up next to a bag of McDonald's.
Randomize
