She said if it slipped out one more time she was going to duct tape it in her vagina
i just found a bag of weed behind my capital one card. i guess that's what's in my wallet.
he was walking around the bar drinking wild turkey and gobbling simultaneously
He was like an evil genius with the clitoris. I don't stand a chance.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Married on the beach in PCB while blackout drunk. Bonged beers on the sandbar for a bachelor party. They shotgunned beers at the end of the vows. How is spring break allowed to happen?
That's ok. I found a crab leg in my bed and have no pants on.
Best. Handjob. Ever.
I'm guessing Kelly is over?
Nope. Home alone.
Something's wrong. Everything's on fire. Unless it was like that before. Then everything's alright.
Im gonna take a shit then figure out how to be better at basketball
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All I know is I want him to tie me up at least twice a week and I have an overwhelming urge to cook for him. Could this be love? I'm so confused....
I had a dream that I got you so wet that you flooded my apartment
Just wore the promise ring dad gave me freshman year of high school as a fake wedding band while I bought a pregnancy test. I think it's safe to say that's not what he had in mind with that gift 14 years ago.
First post college job and I got fired within a week. Something tells me that adulthood isn't going to be as much fun as sex and the city led me to believe.
God doesn't care if you're a paramedic, you can't do that to someones cat and still get into heaven
My ex boyfriend literally just asked "who needs porn?". This is EXACTLY why I dumped his ass.
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