Jesus was obviously not given an itemized list of your sins before he died for them
He was doing push ups, crunches and jogging in place in front of the restaurant. I'm not too sure I want to eat there if it requires immediate exercise following the meal.
I've never seen so many strippers at a funeral...
i screwed him while his gf was puking in the shower. 2011 is looking up already
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My dealer threw in a "freestyle rap" today with my purchase. I dont know if I can handle this relationship.
I may or may not juuuust be reaching the point where I find some humor from waking up in the parking lot at the standard.
Just don't eat pie out of the sink. It's a real blow to the self esteem.
I still have way too many Frat houses to get blackout drunk at before I'm get in any type of relationship
He ran over from the bar to give me more singles because the stripper was doing gymnastics on me. He is a really great friend, just probably not the best boyfriend.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Some male strippers are here, I threw pancakes at them. It's ok
FUCK IM ABOUT TO GET A DICK PIC IN THE LIBRARY
I just got called the stable friend. This makes me super uncomfortable
He drove over an hour to get this shit done. I guess i win the golden vagina award tonight
Sometimes you wanna cuddle and sometimes you wanna get blown in the bathroom.
Her pegging playlist is all heavy metal so stay away if you wanna keep your ass intact
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