OMG Im so trashed fishy! im sitting hereon my bed wif mcdonalds n i look like david hasselhoff!!!!!! kill me now
Anyone ask you how much a bj cost yet? That shirt is so whorish
no, i will not be your spotter when you masturbate with a noose around your neck
did we hook up?
no, because you kept repeating "itty bitty titties" when i took off my shirt
I love reading their "i love you more" , "no i love you more" war on facebook today knowing that he hooked up with me last night. I bet i know who wins that one.
there COULD be a gas leak in our house... proceeding to smoke with extreme caution...
Want to come over and play therapist and then fuck all the emotion away?
I went to the bathroom, came back, and my friend was sleeping leaning up against the stripper pole.
He stopped responding after the animal pictures... I do this EVERY TIME.
I think I'm going to contact pbr and see if they'll sponsor our dreams
No worries, I've prioritized my homework into "can do drunk" and "should be sober" categories. We're good.
There it is. Caramel-coated dick. Someone is getting a yeast infection later.
I'm determined to sit on that face.
I need to align my fucking chakras
Nope. Im a prince of the americas. I treat my women like future queens. Also, im drunk watching the royal wedding
Randomize
