Well, for starters you dressed up in all Green and kept singing that song from "A Goofy Movie". Then you made us call you Powerline for the rest of the night...needless to say no, you didn't hook up with her
So i banged this chick from Peru last night. Needless to say, I'm having chipotle for lunch todayas a south American reward to honor her.
Hypothetical question: If a guy wanted to watch you fuck me, would you be willing to take a long lunch break on Wednesday?
She whispered into my eat that she wanted me to fuck her while her parrot watched...
Not even desperate vagina wants small cock.
Glad to hear you raised your standards
He explained how that handle got into our fridge. I think i'm going to stick with my original assumption that the vodka gods want me to drink more vodka.
It feels like I'm breathing out my heart and it spreads through my limbs to my fingertips.
Sent him a picture of my pregnant boobs from last year, think he'll notice the difference?
When a man can't even pay attention to you when you're telling him about how big his penis is, there's something wrong
If you can count on one hand the number of times you have actually, truly nearly died this month, then you are not really living yet.
Trial is expected to last a fucking week if I get chosen.
To be fair, you are the kind of person I want to be on the jury when I inevitably end up in front of one.
Help everyone's hot
Men are hot women are hot non-binary people are hot aliens are hot
I really don’t want to have kids.
I thought we agreed we were done with dirty talk for the day
We peed on a building I think...like a building in downtown...not out of view of anyone.
I'm just too horny to handle empty house
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