i dont know whats so great about being respectable.
I feel that the whole multiple orgasm thing is god's way of saying "sorry for the childbirth deal"
He told me he wanted to break up so he could get "closer to God."
Does God suck his dick?
I bet they don't have a scenario slide on how to deal with a suggested three way with counsel during harassment training.
its a vaginal recession for me, ill take what i can get
I need a $60 an hour job, because I have a $50 an hour drinking habit.
Went to get my tattoo today. Found out the piercing girl is bi. I may just get my nipples done to get hit on tomorrow. Confidence is low these days.
So basically he tried to get out of the car and crawl on the highway with the broken leg because he didn't want to go to the hospital. It was not a good time...then we got pizza though.
Tonight will bring shame to my future grandchildren.
It was smashing those cupcakes into my face that did it. Junk food and I don't mix.
Also I've decided that I'm buying the next friend of mine who is dumb enough to get married a live porcupine as a wedding present.
Her shirt said pass joints, not judgement. You're surprised she stole your wallet after?
I told my manager I was trying to conserve my energy for date night/Sexual Olympics later. That's legit for another break, right?
You need to stop showing people the things i drunk-text to you... i have a reputation to uphold here
What are u up to today?
Marathon sex and eating.
Randomize
