Me too!
just dd'd my mom home while she begged me to let her drunk dial my ex, jammed out to party in the usa, and then passed the fuck out. thanks for the genes mom.
We listened to Rod Stewart Pandora and slow danced in the shower.
I fingered her though her window because she couldn't leave
want to meet me after class and possibly get arrested for indecent exposure?
Maybe tomorrow I'll be drunk again and can provide you with texts at a more reasonable hour. Here's hoping. GOodnight. Tebow loves you
That would be a dream come true. Seriously, he's like my mount everest, my life's ambition is to climb him.
You were so drunk last night you left the bar to go buy a razor so you could go home with him
I'm 99.9% sure the people upstairs are using walki-talkies to talk to each other across the room. Too high for this shit
That's like.....u just dangled a sex carrot in front of me then took it away!
Kyle found me outside his apartment in the hallway. Said he didn't hear me knock bt smelled alcohol through the door. I'm sucha bitch to my liver
When one of my seniors asked "Rough night?" I realized my poor decisions involving Tuesday night drinking did not go unnoticed.
Can I trade you chipotle for a pregnancy test?
That was the most spiritually awakened shit I have ever taken.
He's UNCIRCUMCISED. And it curves. Two things I've never encountered in all my sluttiness and they're both on the hottest guy alive. :(
Randomize
