first missing my period. then crying at the clinic... but why?
we had sex 3 months ago. you missed your period 2 weeks ago. but nice try.
even in the morning, she still thinks my british accent is real.
he's doing fine. just headbutted the wall and threw up
Leave it to us to have a family reunion in a bar bathroom
Yeah Greg found him eating out of a tuna can with a pill cap
You know how I got mad at him for making out with his formal date? Apparently I fucked mine. I'm guessing any exclusivity is out of the question.
Some guy in lab is humming along to a Sara Barrilles song. Or maybe I'm just hearing the song echoing in his huge, gaping vagina.
Nothing like cleaning dried puke off your floor to make you feel like you've failed as an adult.
It's hard to be judgmental of others when you are wearing silver pleather.
Yeah..I guess you know your hair looks like shit when TSA asks to inspect it
Remember that time you puked in a beer pong cup while someone else was playing?
that happened
Like I could say no to two hot people already naked and fucking. Please. I'm not made of stone.
Twice?!
Update: He still has devil magic genitals.
I think I may have fully transcended this spectrum of life. I can see beams of light man. Down to the photons
What
The only downside is I can't stop skipping
What better than a girl who loves jager, sexts like a champ and is down for t-bell at any hours of the night? oh wait, NOTHING.
Randomize
