You know how I told you I don't have many naked pics? Apparently that changed last night.
so today I found out that she used to be a he....
are you gonna get a divorce?
I didn't mind getting the stomach flu from him. we had great sex AND I'm seven pounds lighter
We were laughing at the passed out guy who had gone to sleep under the car in the McDonald's lot until we realized it was you.
I need to stop making out with boys in plain view of half my class.
He looked like Harry Potter. I had to do it.
i just remember sitting on this bed, naked, STILL WITH A CONDOM ON, and suddenly these random girls were in the room shouting at me
Dude I think my special talent is falling in drunkenly falling in front of a cop and getting away. This is the second time.
WHEN DO I FOLLOW THESE PEOPLE. I WOKE UP THIS MORNING &FOUND TWEETS FROM ILLUMINATI AND "hot shot 6th grader"
I only remember singing the Captain Planet theme song on our way to the bars.
My day in three words: secret purse cake
I feel as though I look like a mom with a substance abuse problem
I'm at the back whiskey bar with a 7 and 7 in a winnie the pooh costume. Come find me.
she kind of stumbled up and said "Bitches be needin' stiches." i thought i could convince her to break a bottle over someones head but she fell onto her face and passed out before i could say anything
You can’t judge a dick by its balls.
so i fell out of a tree on the ave last night. someone told me there was alcohol at the top. bastards.
Randomize
