that's an acceptable place to lick
u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
did you hook up at the wedding?
No but I jerked off on the hotel sheets. I wanted to get my moneys worth.
for future reference: even when 4 loko is flat it still fucks you up. im near a tree. come find me.
We were on the balcony tossing jello shots to people passing below
When people said no i'd yell "i tried them i promise they aren't roofied!"
I took an adderall. This is weird. My eyes are really wide open and I am really good at staring. I've written on 9 peoples walls and updated my status. I am getting shit DONE!
There seems no grander way to celebrate 420 than to smoke atop a mountain peak.
Oh you know, sitting here in my bathing suit watching antiques road show and petting the cat. Just the usual
i woke up and found a picture of his grandma in my purse.. im a kelpto
You were so stoked after landing that flip that you dropped acid with three random guys without hesitation
We were on a plane, I couldn't just grab his dick
sexting while watching Peter Pan the Musical! something just doesn't seem right here
I had a sex dream about Fox Mulder, and the Royals just won the World Series. My life is complete.
WHY DID YOU INVITE ALEX?!?
Because she offered to bring a keg.
And also because you fucked her in an alley last week and I'm trying to be a good friend.
dude the water is back on, you can stop shitting under the tree . . .
Randomize
