just threw up while drinking by myself. This is all your fault. You here = a good night, You not here = alcoholism
walk of shame with early morning football tailgaters. niice.
I was so high I couldnt even listen to music i was terrified of the potential knowledge i would gain.
And don't be too jealous. Drinking alone watching a chick flick and masturbating isn't nearly as glamorous as it sounds
She brought up feelings... her days are numbered
Every time I hit my bowl my neighbors set off fireworks... I stop, they stop. I start again, they start again. Too high for this.
He asked if I wanted to leave my bra on while we were doing it from behind bc he read somewhere that all that pounding can be painful for big breasts. THAT thoughtful.
Yes but that point is quickly negated bc u should never have to search more than one room to find your underwear.
You know those creepy dolls that look like they are watching you from anywhere in the room? It was like that, but with his penis...
I feel like passing out with my foot on your face has bonded us at a very fundamental level.
well he got me up crazy early but i got pizza for breakfast and an electric blanket to sleep with sooo he passed the one night stand test.
first thing my tuition money buys is a strap on
I slapped a guy during sex last night because he moaned the wrong name. Then I remembered I gave him a fake name. Sorry bro.
They are in the bedroom next door. We might have a threesome idk. Jesus take the wheel.
GO. DO.
I am Jesus and I am taking the wheel.
It's dangerous to be this horny at work. I'm gonna stain my desk chair
Randomize
