I ate a lot of your sunchips. I mean a lot. Like 4 to 5 bags.
You got ahold of his prescription papers and gave out prescriptions for cranberry and vodka
I know we had a good night last night because his turtle was half asleep chewing on the used condom.
You were basically naked. Just covered in pink duck tape and feathers. I'd have to say this is beyond the slutty mark..
We were playing hot potato with real potatoes at 3am
Can you work for me at 4? We might have just taken some drugs we found in the couch and... end of story
He made the moves first, we made out...then we folded his laundry.
Well I'm missing half a toenail if that's any indication of my night
I swear every time I see him he's either dancing or trying to touch people
Have you ever tried to have sex with a fairy? My penis is literally bigger than her.
You start to question your party girl tendencies when you're wearing the same shirt you wore the night before to work and you're trying to get last nights Jell-O shot off the sleeve on your way to work
No way hahaha I have zero intention of adding him I wanna just join in on a three some but mostly just be there for moral support and snacks
I feel like with a dick like that he could of done more with it
I hope every time you eat hashbrowns you think about me, the awesome sex we had and how great we could have been.
I came twice AND he sent me home with edibles. I think he’s a keeper.
Randomize
