U know its gonna be a great day when the guy at the liquor store waves at u cause u walked by
is it a bad sign that i now think of my run-ins with cops as "skill building seminars"?
um, yeah. i think it is.
I just realized that "Hey girl, when you gonna let me tap that?" is in iambic pentameter. I'm going to write a poem...
So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
After New Year's Eve I will be hibernating my life away. Only wake me up for skiing, schnapps, and sex. In that order.
Goats are brash and offensive and cocky animals
Are you high and at a petting zoo again?
He wants a "vagina fling" before he commits to dick for life. I'm gonna allow it.
mate, my mother watched me threw up out of my nose wearing only a g-string.
I am in his childhood bedroom and I feel like his trophies are applauding me and his stuffed bunny is disgusted with me. Did you know he was a mathlete?
We need a hype man... Like a DMX type dude to just up the ante constantly...
I thought I would be a proper lady and put my spare panties in a ziplock
How the fuck did he think me asking about the possibility of a threesome was a rhetorical question?
We had everything under control until this one jackass fucked up. Thanks, Peter.
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
He was gone when I woke up. But he left skid marks on my sheets and our unopened bottle of Titos is missing
New Rule: No more sleepovers with guys we met on Reddit
Randomize
