where are you
in your bedroom
how did you get in
your wife…
WTF
After last night, I could never be a politician.
So I finally got the Patron washed off my boobs.
Spotted at kelly concert- 10 year old in a homemade "I do not hook up" t shirt. Well I should certainly hope not, sweetheart.
koolaid chicken. i marinated it for 2 hours and roasted it on a rock in a fire. it was bright blue and raw. but that shit was tasty
I don't know. I was also picked up by the doormen and held over the bar so I could do an upside down shot out of a bartenders tits.
Dude how did you get resin on my keyboard?
I'm going to shower the piss off me now. I feel like I was in an R. Kelly dream.
It's times like this I miss having my nipples pinched
There was probably a tattoo above her soulless vagina that read 'it's a trap!' Yet you ignored it
Not my man #1 and if he likes it then he should put a title on it. Till then the gates of hell. Aka my vagina are open for entrance.
He brought her home and fucked her in a gingerbread man costume in a cardboard rapunzel castle. He had a pretty good night.
I recall trading my iPhone watch for a carton of Marlboros.
So if he doesn't show up do we eat his birthday cake? Because I'm stoned and wrestling is on. What's the proper protocol
i looked at my texts in the morning and saw that i had a full conversation with myself via text thinking it was someone else. i rejected myself
Randomize
