I see an opportunity for you to use your nakedness to cure my boredom.
Yes but life is bad with poopy sheets
Getting 10 cents back for every can is really just encouraging alcoholism.
Dude. I tried to convince her to eat poprocks and give me a blowjob. It did not work out well.
I woke up wearing just my underwear and a headlamp at a different house than I remember passing out at. I told you irish car bombs are not made with an entire guinness.
it was really awkward..i thought he had two dicks, but later realized it was jsut his roommate
omg he fucking fingered me this morning. and i was just like this is the most awkward alarm clock ive ever had
I forgot my id and a man called soup is buying me vodka.
Want to come over? I'm getting stoned and watching Netflix and making s'mores over a candle in my room
Why are there hooting douchebags outside my building? Did a sport happen again?
No, your dick is problems. Anyone you fuck haunts us for the rest of the semester. If you need to get laid, I'll personally drive you out of state.
I just need to stick to one night stands and delete social media
The fact that I am laying in bed on my stomach with an ice pack on my rump is a clear indication that I am no longer in my carefree 20s
If you enjoy dance recitals as much as I do, that's one shitty Father's Day...
Yeah, he fractured his ass by doing a canon ball into the bath tub....
Randomize
