Broke my phone, have no voice AND I was blackout by 3 p.m...I'm betting I had a great time.
Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
i think i left my bra at your place
It's still hanging from my ceiling fan. Please let me keep it there.
thanks for leaving the note with the doctor's recommendations for my lip, they are dissolvable stitches right?
I am currently listening to someone take a shit. I hate the hole in the ceiling.
is there a reason blood came out of my hair in the shower?
head injury at diner. you headbutted the wall a few times because it got in your way
started my period, we have to try again next week
if we have anymore sex before that my dick is gonna fall off. that is in no way a complaint
They wouldn't let me on the bull because I couldn't even sign my own name... She let me try 3 times...
i don't find him as attractive when he's dressed as himself...bring back Indiana jones and I would so fuck him again
Just please try not to piss Danny off, I really can't afford to find a new drug dealer again
Sent him a nude and I forgot to crop out the Jesus picture in the background. The Catholic guilt is too real.
For the love of god, if any of you are up, bring me pants.
You came into the club around midnight with a carton of tropicana o.j. & said you were starting a revolution.
I'm her ex, so unless you're interested in her massive moral failings and open season vagina, I'm not your guy.
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