Just so you know, coffee creamer+water does not = milk.
New Years Resolution for 2011 : QUALITY cock. Not quantity.
I ended up in a shower with 9 people and a bunch of unopened beer last night. I think I got peed on. Hands were everywhere. We sold the peed on beer to people knocking on the hotel room door.
Wow, now I'm sad I didn't go.
His fuck buddy just got fake tits and wants him to 'come break them in.' I need his life.
doing laundry. just found my fishnets from Friday. the ENTIRE crotch is torn out. guess that answers the "did we have sex in the cab" question.....
It's been a year of occasional hook ups....this was bound to happen sometime even with your jank ovary schedule.
Alright, who started the "how long till dereck gets deported from Australia" pool? I want in on that.
It's going to be so weird waking up tomorrow morning fully rested completely sober and not covered in piss or bruises.
Why do I have a bunch of cash....and your bra.
also I have no idea whose underpants I'm wearing right now but they're super comfy and I'm not giving them back ever
Tacos and sex are way better than any anti depressant pill ever was. I think I made a medical discovery here.
Think of it as a business transaction. That's how I justify all the horrible things I do. Blow my married boss? Just a business transaction.
I'm still not sure how to feel about the fact that we had a threesome with a guy the same age as my dad
If my one night stand asked me to move in with him right after does it still count as a one nighter?
It’s gonna be hard being interviewed by this girl without remembering the time she showed me her nipple piercings at Dylan’s party
Randomize
