My #1 goal this summer is to get drunk at olive garden
I'm proud of our boobs and what they could potentially achieve in life.
I was born in the year of the cock... How fitting.
Just mixed my liver cleanse with Bacardi. Best. Thing. Ever.
I swear to god he's a one man village people.
Dude i don't know we had to beg the bouncer to let us in because you were bleeding everywhere and he saw you run into a dumpster
Nurse helped me count all my sexual partners and still gave me her phone number. She shall be #73.
I was just sitting on the ground alone in fetal position shivering and chewing on my hand when she found me. ecstasy was not my best idea.
Went to the doctor's today. The lady took one look at my throat and said "oh god"
Too much penis in there.
my pupils became my eyes and i slept with a cloth in my mouth again
Huh interesting. Well thats too bad. Did he catch on?
I doubt it. After sex he sat there naked until the episode of fresh prince (which had JUST started) was over.
But I'll just tell people it was a bar fight... Sounds a lot better than "well I was drunk and alone and eating Special K naked in my bed"
He's a fucking asshole. Who gives good head. And seriously I have never seen someone less committed to hair color
Sorry, I gave half my brain to my thesis and the other half to mdma
just turned another straight guy gay. Goddamn the church must hate me
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