you know what its like when everyone is chanting "do it, do it"...still friends?
ive realized i need to start an "avoid moving in with my parents after graduation" fund
ITS DAYLIGHT SAVINGS TIME SUNDAY EVERYTHING IS GOING TO BE OK AFTER ALL
I caught him trying to shit in her bed. I asked him why he was doing it and he said "because it's wrong."
Smoked a joint and chugged some pepto. Feeling a lil better... Not sure which is working..... Gonna keep doing both.....
So i realized that if i bought everything from my google search history for the past week i would have a dolphin, a wolf costume, a unicorn costume, a katana and a bullet proof vest. Not sure how the dolphin would fit in but the rest of it would end up in one awesome night or someone would die. Either way i say we do it.
i never thought i could drink so much vodka in 8 minutes
Let me stew on this while im plucking my nipple hairs and showering.
I miss my brother. He would have fucked the fat girl for me.
I told you I would
I wouldnt do that to you. You're my actual friend
I left my pipe in my center console with a bowl packed when I took my car to the shop, and when I picked it up the weed had been smoked, but my oil change was only half price.
Also, I found your gauge.
I found it under my pillow like a gift from the Sex Fairy.
Update: day 5 and Scott has not left the apartment. Still smoking. Pizza roll supply dwindling.
I ate at the cafeteria for the first time yesterday and today I think I had an hour long fart.
She’s a Vegas 8, which makes her an Oklahoma 27
Who the hell tries to steal eggnog.
Randomize
