we black-lighted her bedspread and it looked like a jackson pollock painting.
Well, I fucked her. But the sex wasn't all that great. Morning sex never is
just saw a former disney star do a keg stand. her life choices have improved.
Remember that foreign guy who never talked last night? He just came out of my bathroom when I woke up.
She shouted out halfway through "that costume does nothing to hide your cock". Last time we let her drink at the theatre.
I created another version of Halloween, it's called swalloween, whatever girl in a slutty costume you bring home has to swallow or forever be known as the holiday grinch
Seriously though a big penis is like a puppy dog, or a sunny day or some other glorious thing
You are such a penis elitist
Want to go home, so casually slip my underwear in his pocket. Never seen him grin so big and say goodbye to his friends.
Also, nothing screams "don't talk to me because I'm unstable" like walking around eating cookie dough out of the package.
I mean I only got hit in the ass with ONE firework
Hahahaha yep. You were picking up the credit card machine and singing to it in Spanish.
She started throwing ice at me and started yelling, "Holy water bitches! This is an exorcism!"
I have 3 vacation days left and I'm guarding them like a gay dragon on a pile of gold dildos molded after celebrities.
Smaug the FABULOUS
he sent a dick pic to my best friends phone for me cause mine died lol pretty sure he was regretting that night outta town.
Sorry about you walking in on the whole nude kinect dancing. The new roomie was drunk and naked and told us he was either over dressed or we were under dressed for the party. And Amy figured it would be easier to join him than it would be to dress him
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