Crying babies in a bar. Really?
And she just changed the baby's diaper on the table. It's killing the beer garden.
i just woke up naked on my porch, holding the neighbors cat in my arms.
I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
I just threw up and a whole piece of spaghetti came out of my nose. I don't even remember eating spaghetti.
He was actually able to throw up in the bucket from the top bunk. im impressed.
Have invented new cocktail. Any flavor of crystal light and vodka. I call it "I am going to die alone"
yo your bro wants to know what time he got home and were you hosing him off
$150 bar tab covered by these tits. That's now the going rate. Keeping my bra on during sex unless i see the Benjamins.
The Angel on my shoulder is now resorting to merely reminding me that, "You will regret this later." I'm not sure if he's learning how I think or just giving up. Either way, should make life a bit more interesting.
Rush week is fine, only the t-shirts are white and if it rains, the frat boys in their lawn chairs will be treated to 800 freshmen girls in their first wet tshirt contest.
Welcome to college.
I am the prescription. I can be taken orally or vaginally and in any dosage. This is why I went to med school.
Cheez-its and a bottle of cab...for under $10 you could win this girls heart
I lost my vibrator temporarily and for some unknown reason my first thought was that you might have stolen it. But then I realized you would never do that because you know it keeps me from killing people. But I am overtired and lacking in faith.
I just compared my relationship to that double ended dong scene from Requiem. This day just took a turn.
Dude like i feel like i did ALL OF THE DRUGS yesterday
Randomize
