That was definitely a porn plot just waiting to develop...
You got kicked out of the strip club for spilling a tall boy on the stage and when the bouncers came to take you out you told them that they should probably go clean up your pee in the back corner cause they didn't seem to notice that
just got hammed at grandma and grampas 30th aniversary bash .. from the looks i was getting im guessing i wont be seeing an inheritance ...
He came in like 30 seconds. That's how I know he hasn't been cheating on me while I've been gone
she gave me a blowjob during our lunchbreak and expected me not to tell people
I will start puting down the plastic for the vom in our love chamber. If you want to be something or someone else for the night feel free. The theme is shit show.
I'm there.
Its like "fucckkkkk yooouuuuuu" is echoing up my esophagus
tequila?
yep
I know. I know. The man who pulled me from my mother's womb was the same man who had his fingers in my vagina today. My life is a joke. I don't know how to feel about this.
I'm sorry but I have WAY too many sex/ hookup related bruises on visible areas to be going home tmrw
Have you ever come so hard that right after you have the urge to yell "make me a sandwich!"? ...I think my ovaries turned into testicles.
I don't really want to talk about it, but if anyone finds my unicorn mask with my bra in it, I would really like that back.
We did it to 80's cardio music. Talk about a workout.
For the first time in my life, I still have money by the next payday. Who is this responsible person and what have they done with the real me?
I think I gave a random lady a dildo
Again?!
On the way to have sex with my ex's roommate... I have hit a new low
Randomize
